The French Woman is a Femme-enfant

There is the femme fatale.

There is the trophy-wife.

There is the bimbo.

There is the lolita.

And there is the femme-enfant. 

Not long ago, as I was having a conversation on women with male friends, one of them cut short and suddenly told me “you know what, very simply, our type of girls is the femme-enfant one”.

It’s funny coz we all understood what this friend meant by “femme-enfant” so I was wondering if it’s because we were all French. An English translation for “femme-enfant” would be “child-woman”. I asked German friends if there was such a word that could translate “femme-enfant” in German. Funny thing, they actually have “men-children” in Germany! But no femme-enfants. Then I asked a Belgian friend who speaks fluently French and Flemish. Interestingly, the word femme-enfant does not translate into Flemish, which led me to the conclusion that maybe, this concept is proper to the French language and maybe to the French culture.

So let me explain what a femme-enfant is, and if there actually is such a thing as femme-enfants in your language and culture, or any other types of complex gender-related stereotypes, please share!

1. A stereotype of a French woman: the “femme-enfant”

A femme-enfant is a type of women.
It’s a stereotype.

THE PASSIONATE LETTER OF NAPOLÉON TO HIS WIFE JOSÉPHINE

Love Letter from Napoléon to his wife Joséphine, 30th of March 1796

I have not spent a day without loving you; I have not spent a night without embracing you; I have not so much as drunk a single cup of tea without cursing the pride and ambition which force me to remain separated from the moving spirit of my life. In the midst of my duties, whether I am at the head of my army or inspecting the camps, my beloved Josephine stands alone in my heart, occupies my mind, fills my thoughts. If I am moving away from you with the speed of the Rhone torrent, it is only that I may see you again more quickly. If I rise to work in the middle of the night, it is because this may hasten by a matter of days the arrival of my sweet love. (…)

My spirit is heavy; my heart is fettered and I am terrified by my fantasies… You love me less; but you will get over the loss. One day you will love me no longer; at least tell me; then I shall know how I have come to deserve this misfortune. …Farewell, my wife: the torment, joy, hope and moving which draw me close to Nature, and with violent impulses as tumultuous as thunder. I ask of you neither eternal love, nor fidelity, but simply…truth, unlimited honesty. The day when you say “I love you less”, will mark the end of my love and the last day of my life. If my heart were base enough to love without being loved in return I would tear it to pieces.

Josephine! Josephine! Remember what I have sometimes said to you: Nature has endowed me with a virile and decisive character. It has built yours out of lace and gossamer. Have you ceased to love me? Forgive me, love of my life, my soul is racked by conflicting forces. My heart obsessed by you, is full of fears which prostrate me with misery…I am distressed not to be calling you by name. I shall wait for you to write it. Farewell! Ah! if you love me less you can never have loved me. In that case I shall truly be pitiable.

Bonaparte, 30th of March 1796

(Original version in French below)

JUST MARRIED! MARRY LIKE A FRENCH

Poster from an exhibition at the City Hall of Paris in 2010; the website of the exhibition is still running, it is simple, but great, turn the volume on! More photographs of weddings taken by Gérard Uferas on his website.

Paris, city of love {sparkles, sighs and tears}… In celebration of Valentine’s day, let us explore the topic of marriage in France and try to answer this way too important question: what would their marriage have been like had Mr Big and Carrie been a French couple?

They would have been one of the 660 wedding celebrated daily in France in 2012. They’d be part of the 3/5 of French couples who chose to get married (when the other couples go for a legal commitment called the “PACS”, the French civil union, or no particular legal status at all). They most probably are 32 years old for him and 30 for her. But wait, our Mr Big was already married before… Like 21% of the men tying the knot, it would be a second wedding for him. No second wedding for Carrie, but a second passport, maybe, since 1 marriage out of 5 is “mixte” in France, as it includes a foreign born person.

“Mademoiselle, Monsieur, il faut que vous sachiez que la cérémonie du mariage est une cérémonie courte. Donc dans moins de dix min, Mademoiselle je cesserai de vous appeler Mademoiselle, Mademoiselle. Donc là j’en profite, je vais en caser beaucoup d’ici la fin du mariage parce que ce sont les derniers, Mademoiselle. Après, je vous appellerai Madame.” Paris d’Amour soundtrack

LOVE AND FOOD: MARRY A FRENCH MEN, MARRY HIS FOOD

God knows being a multicultural couple is not easy. In her article entitled “Mastering French Cuisine, Espousing French Identity, The Transformation Narratives of American Wives of Frenchmen“, anthropologist Christy Shield-Argelès investigates on the role of food in the relationships of two French-American couples.

In this article, Beth and Linda, married to French dudes, evoke the American and the French mentalities regarding food and how they adapted to the French culture – or not. Click the link!

THE FORGOTTEN FLAT OF A PARISIAN DEMIMONDAINE

In June 2010 was discovered a pure testimony of the Paris of the early 20th century : the door of a Parisian flat of the 9th arrondissement was unlocked for the first time in 70 years.

Covered in dust, old carpets and tableware, antics were found, and among the art pieces, an original painting by Giovani Boldini (1842-1931), portraitist quite in vogue in Paris at the time.

The painting represents Marthe de Florian aged 24 in 1898, actress and demimondaine, obviously beautiful and more obviously very popular among our male friends judging by the amount of love letter she kept and classified (according to which order, the story doesn´t say). Many business cards of politiciens of the time were found, like that of Clemenceau, Waldeck-Rousseau, Doumergue oder Deschanel – no comment. The owner of the appartment, who died at the age of 91, was the grand daugter of this lady. She had moved to Southern France before WW2 and never came back.

YVES SAINT LAURENT: QUOTES ABOUT WOMEN, LOVE AND FASHION

I found a book about Yves Saint Lauren in my cousin’s library a while ago and took pictures of some pages I thought were particularly valuable. Unfortunately I don’t recall which book it was, i’ll tell you when I find it again.

Thanks a lot Melia for helping me translate these quotes!!

“Nothing is more beautiful than a naked body.

The most beautiful garment that can dress a woman are the arms of the man she loves.

But for the ones who have not been lucky enough to discover this happiness, I am here.”

MUSIC: CHECK OUT THIS FUNNY SEXY OLD SCHOOL SONG

Your friends have their very own qualities, drawbacks, idiosyncracies, phrases and gestures and you just like them the way they are, and even because they are the way they are. And you know how they can be a of great inspiration for you.

My friend Alice has this nice humour very fond of absurd, puns, unexpected downturns, and other witty stuff. Once in a while, she likes to sing, and sometimes, to my great delight. She once came up with this bawdy song yet very witty, which she sung with a great enthousiasm, spying on my reactions, La Jeune Fille du métro. You will have to speak french for it… or, have it translated by a French friend and it’ll be your turn to watch their reaction!

Lyrics below

BOOK: Lettre à D. Story of a Love – a book that’ll make you cry

To read Lettre à D., you will only need one hour, but you can plan a 15 min break during which you’ll be busy trying to find a tissue, blowing your nose, getting rid of those tears and calming down.

Letter to D. is a love letter, a letter written by André Gorz, French journalist/thinker disciple of Sartre (originally named Gerhart Hirsch, Austrian Jew), to Dorine, his wife. He expresses his love, his gratitude, his surprise at the idea of having found her, having lived with her, object of her good care, her devotion, delighted by her tact, her witt and her intelligence.

MUSIC: French band Fauve≠

MOVIE NIGHT: La Reine Margot/Queen Margot (1994) – French movie you should watch

I love these covers!

Beautiful movie with the amazing Isabelle Adjani, my favourite actress. She’s so dramatic in this movie, when she whirls around in her dress and shouts her despair – she gives me goosebumps.

The movie was released in 1994, and is based on a novel of the same title by Alexandre Dumas, published in 1845. Dumas is also the author of The Three Musketeers, The Man in the Iron Mask or the Count of Monte Cristo, if you’ve already read those books or seen movie adaptions and you liked them, you will like La Reine Margot.

The atmosphere: Dark, under pressure, passionate.

Guys, I have some good news: watch La Reine Margot/ watch Queen Margot in streaming in ok quality, subtitled in English!