The French Woman is a Femme-enfant

There is the femme fatale.

There is the trophy-wife.

There is the bimbo.

There is the lolita.

And there is the femme-enfant. 

Not long ago, as I was having a conversation on women with male friends, one of them cut short and suddenly told me “you know what, very simply, our type of girls is the femme-enfant one”.

It’s funny coz we all understood what this friend meant by “femme-enfant” so I was wondering if it’s because we were all French. An English translation for “femme-enfant” would be “child-woman”. I asked German friends if there was such a word that could translate “femme-enfant” in German. Funny thing, they actually have “men-children” in Germany! But no femme-enfants. Then I asked a Belgian friend who speaks fluently French and Flemish. Interestingly, the word femme-enfant does not translate into Flemish, which led me to the conclusion that maybe, this concept is proper to the French language and maybe to the French culture.

So let me explain what a femme-enfant is, and if there actually is such a thing as femme-enfants in your language and culture, or any other types of complex gender-related stereotypes, please share!

1. A stereotype of a French woman: the “femme-enfant”

A femme-enfant is a type of women.
It’s a stereotype.

THE PASSIONATE LETTER OF NAPOLÉON TO HIS WIFE JOSÉPHINE

Love Letter from Napoléon to his wife Joséphine, 30th of March 1796

I have not spent a day without loving you; I have not spent a night without embracing you; I have not so much as drunk a single cup of tea without cursing the pride and ambition which force me to remain separated from the moving spirit of my life. In the midst of my duties, whether I am at the head of my army or inspecting the camps, my beloved Josephine stands alone in my heart, occupies my mind, fills my thoughts. If I am moving away from you with the speed of the Rhone torrent, it is only that I may see you again more quickly. If I rise to work in the middle of the night, it is because this may hasten by a matter of days the arrival of my sweet love. (…)

My spirit is heavy; my heart is fettered and I am terrified by my fantasies… You love me less; but you will get over the loss. One day you will love me no longer; at least tell me; then I shall know how I have come to deserve this misfortune. …Farewell, my wife: the torment, joy, hope and moving which draw me close to Nature, and with violent impulses as tumultuous as thunder. I ask of you neither eternal love, nor fidelity, but simply…truth, unlimited honesty. The day when you say “I love you less”, will mark the end of my love and the last day of my life. If my heart were base enough to love without being loved in return I would tear it to pieces.

Josephine! Josephine! Remember what I have sometimes said to you: Nature has endowed me with a virile and decisive character. It has built yours out of lace and gossamer. Have you ceased to love me? Forgive me, love of my life, my soul is racked by conflicting forces. My heart obsessed by you, is full of fears which prostrate me with misery…I am distressed not to be calling you by name. I shall wait for you to write it. Farewell! Ah! if you love me less you can never have loved me. In that case I shall truly be pitiable.

Bonaparte, 30th of March 1796

(Original version in French below)

THE LINKS WORTH SHARING

These are some interesting readings I stumbled upon in the last days, if you read stuff that are worth sharing, drop me a message!

• Nicolas Ouchenir, a French calligraphist who writes beautifully for brands and newspapers

• The human zoo of Vincennes, near Paris, that was open to the public between the 1870s to the 1930s. Shocking but true!

• The anecdote of Alain Baraton, chief gardener of Versailles, as he encountered a beautiful Japanese tourist who came on Monday, the day Versailles was closed (La Séduction, p23)

• A Vice short docu about the Voguing scene in Paris

• Eugène Séguy, French entomologist and illustrator from the early 20th century = insects + art

• The incredible story of a French and an American girl, both of Korean origin, who discovered they were twins

•  The revival of L’officine Universelle Bully, a 19th century French cosmetic brand

• Urville, the Imaginary City that a French autistic savant conceived for 20 years

JUST MARRIED! MARRY LIKE A FRENCH

Poster from an exhibition at the City Hall of Paris in 2010; the website of the exhibition is still running, it is simple, but great, turn the volume on! More photographs of weddings taken by Gérard Uferas on his website.

Paris, city of love {sparkles, sighs and tears}… In celebration of Valentine’s day, let us explore the topic of marriage in France and try to answer this way too important question: what would their marriage have been like had Mr Big and Carrie been a French couple?

They would have been one of the 660 wedding celebrated daily in France in 2012. They’d be part of the 3/5 of French couples who chose to get married (when the other couples go for a legal commitment called the “PACS”, the French civil union, or no particular legal status at all). They most probably are 32 years old for him and 30 for her. But wait, our Mr Big was already married before… Like 21% of the men tying the knot, it would be a second wedding for him. No second wedding for Carrie, but a second passport, maybe, since 1 marriage out of 5 is “mixte” in France, as it includes a foreign born person.

“Mademoiselle, Monsieur, il faut que vous sachiez que la cérémonie du mariage est une cérémonie courte. Donc dans moins de dix min, Mademoiselle je cesserai de vous appeler Mademoiselle, Mademoiselle. Donc là j’en profite, je vais en caser beaucoup d’ici la fin du mariage parce que ce sont les derniers, Mademoiselle. Après, je vous appellerai Madame.” Paris d’Amour soundtrack

PARISIAN FLATS OF STAR FASHION DESIGNERS

Explore the Parisian flats of Coco Chanel, Christian Louboutin, Kenzo, Yves Saint Laurent, Christian Lacroix, Azzedine Alaia, Vanessa Bruno, Isabel Marant and Marc Jacobs.

ONLINE ADVANCED FRENCH UNIVERSITY COURSES

Illustration Faustine Sayagh for Les Echos

Wanna attend French university classes? Let’s look at the offer of MOOCs (massive open online courses) and online classes in France.

BOOK: BRINGING UP BÉBÉ, OR HOW THE FRENCH RAISE THEIR KIDS

It’s been more than a year now that Pamela Druckerman’s book about French parenting, Bringing Up Bébé, One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting was published and made people talk about it. So after having tackled on the blog several topics I like, I decided it was high time I read this book.

I’m always a little suspicious towards those best sellers as I dread that they won’t do more than exploit a few French stereotypes, and you know how funny then annoying it is to hear someone repeat/ask stuff about your country that come from where the hell.

Simply put: I liked it a lot. I was hooked after a few pages, it’s fluid, it’s fun and you learn many things about France and the mentality of the French middle class as she precises many times.

RICH OR POOR? WHAT THEIR FIRST NAMES SAY ABOUT THE FRENCH

We know that names are not given by chance: people bear names that reflect their genders, religions, their nationalities. Well then, what are typical French names, you may wonder?

1. The official list of the very French names

Spontaneously, to get an idea of what are typical French names, I would recommend you have a look at any calendar in French and check the saints. These names are traditional ones I would say.

But I also discovered an official list of the names considered French by the French authorities. This list is submitted to all people about to adopt the French nationality, and who might want to change their first names for a typical French one, “in order to facilitate the integration and daily life of the newly French“.

Now, if you are currently looking for a French name for your baby, of course, some names are in trend, others are outdated. It is sometimes funny for us French to see that some French-sounding names borne by American stars are completely outdated and only borne by French grandmas, like Michelle, Nicole, or Jacqueline. If by chance you were wondering which names are popular in France right now, check this website!

But names also are social indicators. Within a culture, some names are typical to certain social backgrounds, and reflect the tastes, mentalities, values of the parents who give them to their children. Are there names typical to the French upper class? Are there names that we only find in the French lower class?

YVES SAINT LAURENT’S COMIC BOOK : ‘La Vilaine Lulu’

The Yves Saint Laurent Foundation scanned many works of the late French designer Yves Saint Laurent, including original boards of his comic book, La Vilaine Lulu.

La Vilaine Lulu is a “tale for sadistic ou prodigy children” according to Saint Laurent. Its main protagonist is an awful and mischievous little girl, a true mean girl! Look at the Easter board, she even is a murderer!

Lulu Hairdresser

DO THE FRENCH HATE MONEY ?

Three weeks ago, I meet a young American guy who came to Berlin to check out the city with the idea of settling here to developp his start up. Very dynamic and much of a doer (do be a doer, don’t be a don’ter, right) he was working on the fashion and tech prototype of a product. I found his idea passionating and his dynamism admirable. He had calculated everything, he already knew the costs of the components, and most importantly the margin he would be making out of the product. I found all that super interesting, and his enthousiasm was contagious. I only felt weird when he started to say that he was gonna make millions, visibly excited, laughing nervously.  His eyes grew so shinny I suddenly realized they were golden coins, his grin so wide I started to see fangs instead of teeth. Almost, I mean.

But what’s that, “felt weird” ? Well, difficult to explain. Let’s say that I disapproved. I felt that joy at the idea of fortune was legitimate, but I also felt that he shouldn’t have share it with me, as we had never met before. I felt that by showing so clearly that he loved money, he lacked decency.

And then I felt bad for thinking this. I’m just a narrow-minded French girl very complexed by money like all French, is what I thought. The French know quite well that money is a difficult subject for them. Money is more taboo than sex.

Looking for references about this French cultural feature, I fell upon the sociological and anthropological work of Michèle Lamont, entitled Money, Morals, Manners – the culture of the French and the American middle class. The book, which as its title suggests, draws a comparison between the French and the Americans, was written in 1992. It’s a while ago, but no worries, even if things have changed, the content remains highly valuable.