JUST MARRIED! MARRY LIKE A FRENCH

Poster from an exhibition at the City Hall of Paris in 2010; the website of the exhibition is still running, it is simple, but great, turn the volume on! More photographs of weddings taken by Gérard Uferas on his website.

Paris, city of love {sparkles, sighs and tears}… In celebration of Valentine’s day, let us explore the topic of marriage in France and try to answer this way too important question: what would their marriage have been like had Mr Big and Carrie been a French couple?

They would have been one of the 660 wedding celebrated daily in France in 2012. They’d be part of the 3/5 of French couples who chose to get married (when the other couples go for a legal commitment called the “PACS”, the French civil union, or no particular legal status at all). They most probably are 32 years old for him and 30 for her. But wait, our Mr Big was already married before… Like 21% of the men tying the knot, it would be a second wedding for him. No second wedding for Carrie, but a second passport, maybe, since 1 marriage out of 5 is “mixte” in France, as it includes a foreign born person.

“Mademoiselle, Monsieur, il faut que vous sachiez que la cérémonie du mariage est une cérémonie courte. Donc dans moins de dix min, Mademoiselle je cesserai de vous appeler Mademoiselle, Mademoiselle. Donc là j’en profite, je vais en caser beaucoup d’ici la fin du mariage parce que ce sont les derniers, Mademoiselle. Après, je vous appellerai Madame.” Paris d’Amour soundtrack

BOOK: BRINGING UP BÉBÉ, OR HOW THE FRENCH RAISE THEIR KIDS

It’s been more than a year now that Pamela Druckerman’s book about French parenting, Bringing Up Bébé, One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting was published and made people talk about it. So after having tackled on the blog several topics I like, I decided it was high time I read this book.

I’m always a little suspicious towards those best sellers as I dread that they won’t do more than exploit a few French stereotypes, and you know how funny then annoying it is to hear someone repeat/ask stuff about your country that come from where the hell.

Simply put: I liked it a lot. I was hooked after a few pages, it’s fluid, it’s fun and you learn many things about France and the mentality of the French middle class as she precises many times.

RICH OR POOR? WHAT THEIR FIRST NAMES SAY ABOUT THE FRENCH

We know that names are not given by chance: people bear names that reflect their genders, religions, their nationalities. Well then, what are typical French names, you may wonder?

1. The official list of the very French names

Spontaneously, to get an idea of what are typical French names, I would recommend you have a look at any calendar in French and check the saints. These names are traditional ones I would say.

But I also discovered an official list of the names considered French by the French authorities. This list is submitted to all people about to adopt the French nationality, and who might want to change their first names for a typical French one, “in order to facilitate the integration and daily life of the newly French“.

Now, if you are currently looking for a French name for your baby, of course, some names are in trend, others are outdated. It is sometimes funny for us French to see that some French-sounding names borne by American stars are completely outdated and only borne by French grandmas, like Michelle, Nicole, or Jacqueline. If by chance you were wondering which names are popular in France right now, check this website!

But names also are social indicators. Within a culture, some names are typical to certain social backgrounds, and reflect the tastes, mentalities, values of the parents who give them to their children. Are there names typical to the French upper class? Are there names that we only find in the French lower class?

DO THE FRENCH HATE MONEY ?

Three weeks ago, I meet a young American guy who came to Berlin to check out the city with the idea of settling here to developp his start up. Very dynamic and much of a doer (do be a doer, don’t be a don’ter, right) he was working on the fashion and tech prototype of a product. I found his idea passionating and his dynamism admirable. He had calculated everything, he already knew the costs of the components, and most importantly the margin he would be making out of the product. I found all that super interesting, and his enthousiasm was contagious. I only felt weird when he started to say that he was gonna make millions, visibly excited, laughing nervously.  His eyes grew so shinny I suddenly realized they were golden coins, his grin so wide I started to see fangs instead of teeth. Almost, I mean.

But what’s that, “felt weird” ? Well, difficult to explain. Let’s say that I disapproved. I felt that joy at the idea of fortune was legitimate, but I also felt that he shouldn’t have share it with me, as we had never met before. I felt that by showing so clearly that he loved money, he lacked decency.

And then I felt bad for thinking this. I’m just a narrow-minded French girl very complexed by money like all French, is what I thought. The French know quite well that money is a difficult subject for them. Money is more taboo than sex.

Looking for references about this French cultural feature, I fell upon the sociological and anthropological work of Michèle Lamont, entitled Money, Morals, Manners – the culture of the French and the American middle class. The book, which as its title suggests, draws a comparison between the French and the Americans, was written in 1992. It’s a while ago, but no worries, even if things have changed, the content remains highly valuable.

DREAM OF LIVING IN PARIS ? THE PERFECT TOOL TO FIND YOUR BEST AREA

Where do the richest Parisians live?

What is the price of real estate in Paris?

For whom do the Parisians vote?

Where do students live in Paris?

Which Parisian area is the most densely inhabited?

Which part of Paris gathers the highest percent of single people?

 All these questions without answers… I know. *sigh*

But hey! Your problem soooo May 2013. This time is over! You hear me? Over forever. Past. Pasado. Vorbei.

DECIPHERING FRENCH FOOD CUSTOMS IN 8 POINTS

French cuisine is praised all over the world for its refinement. But there is more to French food than just food. Food belongs to a culture like a language does, it expresses a vision of the world, values, rules, in a word: codes. Wanna know what is hidden behind French food? Decipher French food in 8 points.

1. You can read French history in its food…
2. There is a French eating model
3. The French think their eating model is the best
4. French food practices are strict
5. “Tell me what you eat and I will tell you who you are”
6. Food is an education
7. Meals are ultimate sociable moments
8. For the French, food is above all pleasure

Let’s get started!

HOW LIFE CAN SUCK, THE FUNNIEST STORIES

For a few years now, the website Vie de Merde (VDM “shitty life”), or F my life in English, has been a phenomenon in France. Every young person knows it and its concept: people post little funny episodes of their lives that sucked. Everyone can share and the others can show their support by clicking “I agree, your life sucks”, or “you deserved it”.

“Today, alcohol-fueled party in a loft with many people. My wife, drunk, grabs me in the toilets and we wildly have sex. Later during the party, she notices me and flies into my arms: “Oh chéri, at last you arrived!”. Self cuckoldification. FML”
“Today, at night, my girlfriend whispers “Are you sleeping?”. I don’t answer to see her reaction. She then releases a fart as loud as evil-smelling. She shook the blanket, giggled and fell asleep. FML”

LOVE AND FOOD: MARRY A FRENCH MEN, MARRY HIS FOOD

God knows being a multicultural couple is not easy. In her article entitled “Mastering French Cuisine, Espousing French Identity, The Transformation Narratives of American Wives of Frenchmen“, anthropologist Christy Shield-Argelès investigates on the role of food in the relationships of two French-American couples.

In this article, Beth and Linda, married to French dudes, evoke the American and the French mentalities regarding food and how they adapted to the French culture – or not. Click the link!

QUICK HISTORY OF FRENCH FOOD CULTURE

« Really, what’s so special about French food ? » asked my boyfriend. After all, they have wonderful bread in Germany, there are a lot of tasty cheeses and wines all around the world, Korean/ Mexican/ Italian/ Chinese/ Lebanese/…/ food is delicious, so why does French food seem to be such a big deal ? I’ve found myself quite unable to answer this question. « The French must be good at marketing » is my boyfriend’s hypothesis to this issue – and I laughed a great deal in front of his very rational mindset.

One of the first things I can say is that I am myself discovering what French food is. The food I eat at home is for me quite normal, ok, it’s good, but it doesn’t seem very special to me. But as I am growing up and starting to earn money, I have also started to spend it in real restaurants, including French ones. And I must say that another world is opening before my eyes – this is only the beginning of my culinary journey, through which I am well decided to include my boyfriend.

But French food is not only about its gastronomic performance. Food is a whole culture in France. The French have habits and behaviours towards food that are typical to them, and this is the first characteristic of the French food culture : a certain homogeneity of practices. Three meals a day, structured in 3 to 5 courses and nothing between meals, this is the French food model. This model did not arise by chance. It is the result of political and social changes that appeared throughout history, an evolution which I will quickly introduce you to.

We will first see that before the 20th century, no homogeneity of practices could be witnessed in France concerning food. People ate different things in a different order at different times depending on their social classes.

But starting the 18th century, the manners of the aristocracy started to spread, copied by the bourgeoisie, and, in the 19th, the French Revolution engendered new equalitarian values, while in the 20th century the French Republic flourished and contributed, by its institutions, to the homogenization of the French eating practices.

THE FORGOTTEN FLAT OF A PARISIAN DEMIMONDAINE

In June 2010 was discovered a pure testimony of the Paris of the early 20th century : the door of a Parisian flat of the 9th arrondissement was unlocked for the first time in 70 years.

Covered in dust, old carpets and tableware, antics were found, and among the art pieces, an original painting by Giovani Boldini (1842-1931), portraitist quite in vogue in Paris at the time.

The painting represents Marthe de Florian aged 24 in 1898, actress and demimondaine, obviously beautiful and more obviously very popular among our male friends judging by the amount of love letter she kept and classified (according to which order, the story doesn´t say). Many business cards of politiciens of the time were found, like that of Clemenceau, Waldeck-Rousseau, Doumergue oder Deschanel – no comment. The owner of the appartment, who died at the age of 91, was the grand daugter of this lady. She had moved to Southern France before WW2 and never came back.